Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My book, Going Rouge

Going Rogue
By Lia Bernhard




Prologue
 No one knows what happens when you turn thirteen. At least not here. We train till we drop, and then some more.
I know I was almost rejected, and then I did something that set me apart, now I have to be top of freakin’ everything.
 We train in every way, hand to hand combat, weapons use, agility, and speed. We’re here to be turned into weapons for rebel groups that use child soldiers. The world outside thinks they scoop up orphans off the street, but no. That’s where we come in. The youngest and strongest get sold first, and I talking 100, 200k people. Up until your thirteen, you’re up for grabs. But after that you vanish. I don’t mean killed. They announce it when they kill people, I mean vanish. Gone. No trace. As if you were never there.
I had a bunkmate for a while, and then she turned thirteen. Next night, I was drugged and she was gone. Shadow was my best friend.
I’m Gattaca. I’m twelve years of age. In a week I’m thirteen.
Of course it would seem easy to get out of being sold right? I mean be all fat and flabby.
Problem: if you’re fat -you’re terminated. If you don’t work hard -beaten, rebel- terminated.
So it’s death, whipping, or risk getting sold. All I have to do is hold tight and hope for the best.
Not happening.
I’m going where they take them, and I'm going now.



Chapter 1

         "Oh no. No no no. Not yet, not now! we're so close!"
“Gatt, chill, it’s not the end of the world to get a summons.”
“Zula. Listen to yourself. Where are we? What happens to me, us, in a week?”
“I know,” she takes a deep breath and sighed, “I’m just trying to help you stay positive.“
“Guess what, your not helping!” I snap. I hear an exaggerated hurt gasp and I look down at the short girl with the red hair girls would kill for. Zula had been the only OWP who remembers the outside. She’s been raised on a farm, (a farm is apparently a place with a big red building you keep animals in, I still don’t really get the concept) until she was five when she had been snatched away, supposedly killed when hit by a car. 
Seriously, they made an actual living, breathing clone of Zula and ran her over with a semi truck to make it believable. Because they couldn't just let them live happily with a cone, no, they had to make her parents suffer. Zula had been in shock for months before she came around.
By the way OWP stands for Orphan With Potential. Potential for what, we don't know.
 “Well, if we just hang tight for a few more days I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Zula says softly. 
"Sure. Listen, meet me at my place at 11:00, I need to tell you something. Bring extra clothes in a backpack, and any food and money you can rustle up. Which won’t be a problem for you.”
Zula has this wacky ability to swipe any and every thing from under anyone’s nose. She’s like a thieving ghost.
She gives me a look but doesn’t say anything.
10:45. I’m packing the bare essentials I have on hand and failing miserably at hacking the computer security system.
“Hey Zula. Will you please not point that gun at my head?” I mutter suddenly.
Still don’t know how you do that, still gives me the creeps. Anyhow. Before we embark on this crazy mission your planning, you better tell me what we’re doing.”





I turn around and spot a rather tattered teddy bear poking his head out of her sack, I know better than to ask why she brought him.
“I hear you Zula, but it’s-“
“Please? We've gotten in trouble with this stuff before, just tell me why we're doing this?
“Zula we’re going to turn thirteen right about…hello? Damn computer! Oh, oops, okay we’re thirteen now.”
“What?!” Zula screeches, but before she can start cussing me out, she has to throw herself in the bed next to mine, somehow managing to hide her enormous sack, and seven burly guys burst into the room with guns.
“Oh. Hi guys!” I chirp.
The thugs look slightly less than amused as they Zula and me into a sack. A chemically smell fills my nose mouth and pores and it all goes black.         
   *                                    *                                    *
I come around I am almost immediately sent back under by a powerful punch to the face by Zula.
“You have some serious explaining to do now.”
Zula, ever level headed, said it so clearly and calmly that my foggy mind took a moment to long to figure out that she was threatening me.
“Chill-“
“I’m sick and tired of you stupid “chill”!” She’s getting hysterical, I'm getting worried
“Don’t you get it? They might kill us at any sec-“
Whatever undoubtedly even-tempered comment she was about to thrust upon me was never heard, for we were being summoned, over invisible loudspeaker in a crackly voice, to report to a “main lobby”.
Zula’s bright green eyes are still a little wild as she whispers, “Should we go?” in this awful trembley voice, her attitude changing yet again. I give a curt little nod, grab our bags, and start following the helpful signs toward the lobby.

When we reached the door marked to indicate our destination, Zula slipped her hand in mine like a toddler, gave a tiny squeeze and dropped it. I looked at her but all she has to offer was a terrified little smile. Taking a deep breath I reached out to open the door.



7 comments:

Lia said...

please give me feed back as much as possible it helps so much

Susan said...

It's really good Lia. I'm a little confused about whether they managed to take their little backpacks with them when they were taken. Did the bad men take them the very moment she hacked into the system and changed her birthdate? After you explain what OWP meant you wrote "don't ask" but I didn't know what I wasn't supposed to ask. Check the use of your v. you're in almost every situation. And keep writing. This is great!

Susan said...

By the way, I love the name. And I think the language is unnecessarily harsh esp. the "f" variations and the word "bitch."

Lia said...

thanks but what do you mean by " check the use of your v."?

Unknown said...

olivia your a very good writer but i do think you abused some swears... but it is very well written so far, can;t wait to read the whole thing!

Unknown said...

ooo and i forgot to add i love the title!!

Lia said...

coming soon chapters two and three and I've revised my prologue and chapter 1. they are now free of unnecessary swearing!